Stories of a Journey of the Spirit

 

Phew, I am back on my homeland. Exact 6 months after having left planed to stay for only 5 weeks away, I am back from one of the most incredible journeys of my life!

In total it was 2 months in Europe, mostly spent in Greece, and 4 months throughout the countries of the Middle East.

A journey of the spirit, the body and the mind. A journey which was not a trip, it was life. My life! A journey which opened my heart in ways that I had never experienced before, in terms of understanding of human nature, in terms of the infinite ability to love and most of all, in terms of my relationship with God.

Motivated by the high speed of Love, which stroke me in Istanbul when I met Luke, at the last days of June I decided to exchange my heavy suitcase for a light "only the necessary" backpack and travel into the East...

My first stop was then Istanbul, where I spent one entire month. The magic of the Bosphoros and the Golden Horn holding space for the constant movement of people in that which has always been the crossroads of East and West, filled up my days in the city. To wander in colorful alleys of the Grand Bazaar letting myself being pulled into the numerous shops for a chai and some chit chat with the vendors was simply an activity that could take from one hour to one full day. To sit on the loan around the beautiful fountain viewing the Agia Sophia and the Blue Mosque, watching tourists, vendors, tour guides and local people passing by, enjoying the great view of the most amazing architecture piece of Istanbul, was one of my favorite sightseeing there.

In Istanbul I experienced one of the most touching meetings with a stranger a had ever experienced. It all happened at the shores of the Bosphorus late in the evenings. There we met Ahmet, an old sail man from the Black Sea who lives in his boat and works taking tourists for a cruise on the waters of Istanbul. One night Ahmet took Luke by the hand and started pulling him into his boat. Luke was hesitating and did not really want to follow that strange man. For some reason I felt it was safe and we should give him a chance. He seemed so lonely and in need for some love that I said to Luke we should give it a try and hoped into his boat. We then spent some time there with Ahmet, who promptly offered us some beer and cigarettes. He was so happy to have us in his boat that kept hugging and kissing us. He insisted we slept on his boat and stayed longer. We left then promising we would come back the next day. And so we did. Together with our Turkish friend Filiz we went spend some time with Ahmet again. This time, with Filiz’s presence it was easier to communicate and get to know more about him. I then had the idea of bringing the group who was playing the Flow Game to spend the last round on his boat, flowing on the Bosphorus. We made arrangements with Ahmet that we would come back the next day with a group of friends. The next day though no one from the group could join us, and finally Luke and I came to see Ahmet almost at 11 pm. When we got there he was another man, shaved, wearing his best shirt and trouser and a captain hat. Seeing that put tears in our eyes and left us with no other option than hopping into his boat and accepting the invitation to go for a cruise on the Bosphorus. It was full moon night, the sky was clear and the breeze was blowing gently. There was no movement in the city and we could only see the lights and the silhouette of the buildings and mosques of Istanbul. Ahmet took us for a long cruise, and noticing I had tears in my eyes, he came close and started singing for me. It was a very romantic and nostalgic singing that spoke deeply to our hearts. Right after Luke started playing his guitar and singing loud “Everybody need somebody to love!” and soon the three of us were dancing and smiling on the boat. Back on the dock Ahmet was radiant and extremely happy. We were feeling satisfied and touched with the change we saw him going through. He did not accept any money from us, and surely that cruise was one of the most memorable of my life.

I spend in total one month in Istanbul breathing in the magic of the city and also the beginning of a beautiful loving relationship. There I learned more about Love and giving. I learned a in about overcoming my own prejudice for people I don’t know and opening myself for the gift every person has to offer you in life.

After Istanbul I headed to Cappadocia, where I spent great days with my sister Eliza exploring the extraordinary beauty of that land and being fascinated by the ancient history its carved in those caves. Being in that ancient churches which were built very simply to enable the escaping Christians to worship their God and maintain their cult, is a memorable experience.

From Cappadocia I felt called to visit Konya which is the place where the famous Sufi Mevlana Rumi and other Sufi masters have developed most of their spiritual work. Before going to Turkey I was very little familiar with the Sufi tradition and it was there that a deep sense of respect and curiosity started to grow. Going to Konya was a way to follow this connection and be open for learning more about it. The experience was very strong and helped me to connect even deeper with this place of Love and God. It was the first time I could feel in my heart and my soul that the pure feeling of Love is God and the manifest energy of It in the world. That has opened a whole new and deeper understanding of my relationship with God than ever before. It made me feel closer to It and to want to further this experience. Sufism gave me a simple and yet very profound explanation for God and spirituality.

My next stop was Ankara, the capital city of Turkey. In Ankara I was not in search for any famous monument or place, I was there to meet Aslihan - a wonderful women I had met in Istanbul previously. Aslihan was a very spiritual person who was practitioner of the Islam and Sufism, and I wanted to spend some time with her. She is my mom’s age, has two daughters and runs a clothing shop. Meeting her was very significant for my journey, since she taught me so much about living a life according to one faith and one stream. Since quite young she had a spiritual master who has guided her through life and helped her to grow and develop according to the laws of the Qu’ran and Sufism. She was the first person I met who had fully devotion to one incarnated master and that was all very fascinating and intriguing to me. It made me reflect about such possible choice in my life and to intent more clearly what I want my spiritual journey to be. From Aslihan I learned I need to “ keep doing business with God” and following the signs He is constantly giving, trusting His power and Love.

Sweet blow of the Wind

Aqui estou, decidindo, deixando o vento me dizer para onde virar a proa na proxima mare. Afinal qual eh mesmo a proxima mare? Vai dar onda ou vai dar mar calmo? Que diferenca faz afterall?

Os varios mundos mes chamam. O mundo, mundo todo. O mundo brasil. O meu mundo interior...

Minha respiracao fica agitada e sem fluxo quando chega a hora de eu comprar a passagem de volta para o Brasil. Entao, paro e reflito... E decido deixar o vento me mostrar com o tempo. Ainda tenho tempo. I have all the time in the world!

Estou agora em Tel Aviv aproveitando da companhia da minha querida amiga, companheira de alma, Jasmin. Daqui vou para Jerusalem. E de la embarco para o Chipre.

No Chipre vou literalmente me deixar ser levada... E de la verei...

Hoje e Roshashana aqui em Jerusalem. Judeus aqui e no mundo todo estao comemorando a entrada do novo ano. Para isso reunem-se nas sinagogas de toda a cidade, rezando, cantando e cada um consigo fazendo reflexoes sobre o que fora esse ano passado, quais as acoes e padroes que causaram bem e quais que trouxeram tristezas. E tempo de se examinar, pedir perdao pelos atos cometidos a Deus e ao proximo, rezar para o que quer viver no ano que entra, alinhar-se com Deus e com as pessoas ao seu redor.

E ca estou, sentada no jardim da casa do Avner e Sara, queridos anfitrioes, que estao nos recebendo nestes dias - e outros passados ao longo das ultimas semanas. Logo ao lado, da Sinagoga ressoa os cantos de oracao e prece honrando a chegada do novo ano. Luke esta no quarto ao lado praticando e sua musica tambem preenche o espaco.

Faco as minhas reflexoes. O que foi esse ano para mim? O que me tornei com as experiencias vividas? Quais as mudancas que quero fazer para que este ano seja ainda mais pleno? O que que quero para minha vida no ano que comeca?

Na segunda feira sigo a caminho para o Libano. Em Beirut vou estar pelas proximas duas semanas, oferecendo junto com Hala, conversasoes para a comunidade com quem ela esta trabalhando. Sinto mesmo o comeco de uma nova fase na jornada. A oportunidade de voltar a Israel se materializando com o Flow Game que vou jogar na casa de Tova em duas semanas. A vontade de ficar pelo Oriente Medio ganhando mais corpo e chao.Incerteza sobre os proximos passos e onde estarei melhor servindo. Coracao buscando entender.

Entre isso e aquilo, no geral amando muito e buscando as respostas para as perguntas mais profundas sobre o caminho e o sentido da jornada. Vivendo cada dia de uma vez, entregando-se de corpo e alma a cada encontro e conversas.

One word to the Middle East

Hospitality. This is the word I can use to describe the Middle East in one word.
If there is one thing that unites the peoples from this part of the world, it is their natural gift of being hospitable and welcoming to guests. True that it might take a different timing from people to people to open themselves and feel confidence on the strange guest till they invite you to come in their lives.

Throughout all these travels I've been having the great opportunity to meet the most amazing people most of the times very unexpectedly and magically. From Istanbul to Jerusalem people have just been amazing in offering their homes, introducing me to their friends and people who they think could offer to my learning journey.

Arabs, Jews, Muslims, Christians, Kurds, Israelis, Syrians, Jordans, Turks, all have proved to be natural hosts and welcoming people once I have opened myself to be with them without preconceived judgments or ideas, coming in from a place of true learning and will to understand.

And this has proven to be the most necessary thing to cultivate at this time. It has proven to be one of my great learning this trip. Something into which I am willing to be more and more skillful as I get to understand deeper and deeper how we are always on a continuous journey of learning and absorbing.

I now sit on the table where they all play Okay
Rapidly changing the pieces from place to place
Betting, wining and losing

I have arrived few hours back in this city which is the doorway for Mesopotamia
Diyarbakir, land of the tribe of the Beker

Here I meet very cheerful and softly heart spoken people,
easygoing and friendly

A people who have been told they are foreigners in their own land
Land which has been home for more 4000 years
The kurds have been kept a part discriminated by the way they naturally speak and behave

Long time back they were connected to an ancient religion and deep connection to the earth and the divine.
Nowadays most are muslims,
and have left forgotten the practices and belied of their forefathers and mothers

Advised not to come here,
I am now happy I followed that which seemed clear signs to follow the initial call
On the ferryboat from Nemrut Dag to Sivereki with the happy istanbuli family on vacation, wondering which road to take,
one message with Mahmut's contact in Diyarbarkir I got..

Here I meet him,
a young outspoken and very friendlt Kurdish sociologist who has been for the last years accompanying journalists as a translator in the region.

A natural host he is
who welcomes, accompanies, connects, witnesses and help to overcome the barries of the language

For the week being he is hosting a young american journalist.
Nicole has been based in Istanbul for the last 9 months as the local correspondent of an emerging international online newspaper.

The feeling of rightness was completed when I come to know that the host to offer me a room is his house is Han.

Han, the coreian peace worker who has been living in Diyarbarkir for 5 years
A placid, thin, long pony taled hair, 43 years-old man,
who speaks fluent Kursidh and denies himself to learn Turkish.
A man who is now dedicating himself to finding and understanding the unspoiled historical places of this region.

Place that only natives would know about and e kapet protected, in secret.
Veiled, sacred, meaningful and powerful places
just like the black covered woman who walk on the streets of the city.

Just like my soul sister and friend Kevser.
Young, beautiful hazel almond like eyes,
purple and black covered head and body,
who gracefully shared the journey sitting on the back sit of the minibus with me.

Kevser is newly married with her high school love,
currently teaches English for kids in some local school.
But she wants to travel the world

Hazel almond's like eyes which are willing to set gaze on far away landscapes in Turkey and elsewhere.

Pure, genuine and open hearted, Kevser
Who has thought me a little more about the relationship with God
She who has started covering her head and doing five times a day namaz
to be able to be closer to Him.
She who is closer to God
and emanating Him through her eyes and smile

As I step gently and respectful on this land,
wnich is the doorway for Mesopotamia
I have mi heart perched with an deep sense of love
that is blurred with deep sadness.

A story of love and life

Standing at the platform of Ankara’s train station she said: “Keep making business with God. And take this booklet written by Efendi. Shall it be your passport for your journey”.

I have spent three days with Aslihan and her daughter Zaynep in Ankara coming from Istanbul on my way to Mesopotamia. Aslihan is a beautiful mignon lady with the loving hazel eyes who is a disciple of the Sufi Master Ahmet Kayhan for the past 27 years, and who have taught me much about the relationship with God and with life.
At her early 20’s Asilhan went to India and lived in Osho’s Ashram for a total time of one year and a half and there was initiated a disciple of his philosophy. Back in Turkey, young Aslihan got seriously ill. Being keen and open to non-traditional medicine, she went to London to be in the company of her sister and get treated by the different methods (acupuncture, reiki, aurosoma, and so on). Back in Ankara, one day a close friend brought her a message from Ahmet Kayhan, also called Efendi – which in Turkish means Master. Her friend was given the message by Efendi advised to pass it on to the wisest of her friends. Sometime later Aslihan was then invited to go to the Master’s house, where he would host and welcome everyone in need for assistance and spiritual search. Aslihan’s illness was not getting any better at that time, she would be very thin and weak and also unhappy with her life. But despite the doctors freighting diagnosis she says she always knew she was not going to die. Instead, that this was a death-rebirth process she, for some reason needed to go through. Slowly slowly as her visits to Efendi’s house got more and more regularly and she started following his advices, learned from his wise words, re-energized from his powerful presence, practiced the namaz and studied the Qu’ran, young Aslihan found back her health and track into life.

As the years passed she would develop this unconditional love to herself and her Master, trying as much as possible to be in his company. She would consult and inquiry with him on the subjects of spirituality as much as on her daily life decisions and themes. Soon he would tell her that for her evolutionary path it was important she found a partner to be her spouse and that she became a mother. And so she did, after meeting a kind and gentle man who was friend of friends, having the agreement of her Master and most of all, feeling deep inside that was a new step she wanted to take, Aslihan fulfilled what was meant to be her woman destiny, marrying a good man and giving birth to two beautiful girls.

Being in relationship with a man was the next lesson she was meant and willing to have. To being able to share her life with another person, from the opposite sex, loving and being loved as just one expression of the love for God. Marriage was the constant and everyday practice of compassion, forgiveness and understanding of herself through the other, as her mirror… as her own witness… as a part of herself.
Sixteen years later, Aslihan divorced from her spouse to keep her journey with her daughters and since seven years they she has been learning deeper and deeper the role to play in modeling the masculine and also the feminine for them.
“Bearing children, says Aslihan, is fun and it is the most wonderful thing in life!

My little daughters have been my mevlana since I got pregnant from both Both my daughters are gifts of my master… First one is an in-vitro baby on a single trial as I had been diagnosed ‘not able to concieve’ and the second daughter’s conception was right after he came to my house to give us a visit – which per se was already something great – and he said to me, I came here to renew your marriage vows and to gift you with a child”.

Long conversations we had sitting on Aslihan’s living room or at the porch of the outside garden. These conversations all turned around “our businesses with God”, going from the relationship with our mothers and the act of becoming a mother and stepping into one’s motherhood phase, to loving relationships, professional work, Turkish history, Sufi tradition, Islam and the stories of our lives and families.
Aslihan and Zaynep opened their house and hearts to me, offering with incredible love, generosity and tenderness a safe and sacred space for sharing, learning and growth. Together we have created the bounds for a life longing, meaningful and authentic relationship.

Their house, company and energy were a touchstone and an important entry point into the next phase of this journey I am in as I ought to go further into the East. It strengthened my alignment, reassured my soul calling, nurtured my inner child, challenged the letting go of my maiden and blessed my blossoming woman with Efendi’s energy.

There I could make my luggage lighter, as I have been assigned to do, letting go of the material means which have kept me attached to beauty and lust, offering them to other dear women who can take their magic forward and beyond. It was special and magical seeing the bright into young Zaynep’s eyes as I gifted her with oil pastel crayons, the chilly skirt, the orange happy dress and the bubbly blue funky hand luggage. Also powerful was to meet Eda to whom the colorful pair of summer pants, shining blue t-shirt and dancing green skirt will do well and hopefully uplift and bring trust to her wounded spirit.

To all of that I am most grateful and appreciative, to God and the enlightened beings who have brought our paths together at this time and enabled our encounter to be beautiful and generative of life and love.
Ankara 31st of July

I wanna see us rising